Divorce in America
What is it about divorce that is appealing to Americans? To a five year old it seems like divorce brings more toys on Christmas; to a twelve year old, divorce turns into not being able to spend time with parents like a normal family. About one million kids suffer from their parents’ divorce each year, and about half of these parents divorce within the first 18 years of the children’s lives (Patrick F. Fagan and Robert Rector). Malachi 2:16 states, “For I dislike Divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty, so guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” If the bible clearly states that divorce is wrong, then why do so many Americans divorce? While many see divorce as a way out and as an escape, nothing good actually comes from it.
As the number of marriages increase, so does the rate of divorce. As more couples separate in their first marriage, it leads to more second and third marriages ending in divorce. 50 percent of first marriages, 67% of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce (Divorce Rate). Couples have turned to divorce in order to escape from their unwanted problems instead of facing them head on. When the lack of aspiration, ability, or interest on the part of one or both parties of a relationship occurs, divorce becomes an option for the couple (Edward A. Dreyfus). When one relationship fails; the separated couple then moves on to the next person, then the next and so on. The divorced couple has learned that when times get tough they can easily give up and try again with a new person. This new behavior that many Americans have made a habit of is tearing apart the values of the American family.
While divorce occurs in every age group of marriages, there is one age group that has the highest divorce rate. Marriages with in the ages of 20 to 24 years old has the highest rate of divorce. Around 37% of marriages in this age group end in separation. Marriages with in the ages of 35 to 39 years old have the lowest rate: around 6% of marriages ending in divorce (Divorce Rate). The older generation has different marital values than the younger generation, which leads to fewer divorces in the older generations.
New trends that have started in American marriages are contracts and non-negotiations. When starting a new life with someone the last thing needed is a contract with your partner, and that is exactly what is happening. Many couples now have written agreements that implement amounts of money and physical objects they will get if a divorce occurs in their marriage. Consequently, the couple now has no reason to try to work out their problems if they will be getting a predefined amount of money and objects in a divorce. Divorce in some cases is better than the actual marriage they are in because of the objects they will gain. Also, when a couple fails to negotiate with their issues and possessions a marriage tends to fail. When winning in an issue or being right about a subject becomes more important than the actual relationship, the marriage is in trouble (Edward A. Dreyfus).
From television, radio, and magazines divorce has become a fad that is taking over America. For example, everyone is familiar with the Jon and Kate plus eight divorce, and the divorces of stars such as Tom Cruse and Nichole Kidman. Once we see famous and successful stars divorce and act happy, it sends the message that divorce is a good idea and brings happiness. However, the truth is that divorce brings stress, financial issues and depression. Statistics show that some of the main reasons for divorce are poor communication, financial issues, lack of commitment, and a change in priorities. Other statistics show that 40% of unstable couples bring kids into the family showing them that divorce is good (Dana Krupinsky). Kids often suffer from their parents divorce in more ways than one. For instance, kids with divorces parents contain a 20% lower grade rate adverage and suffer from social problems (Dana Krupinsky).
Growing up I saw my friend’s families separate due to divorce. When you’re young it seems like its going to mean there will be less fighting around the house and more Christmas presents at the end of the year. But as my friends grew older I realized that they weren’t happy mainly because they weren’t able to be with both parents. My friends were constantly swapping houses and wishing that they had a normal, stable family. Statistics show divorce affects kids in negative ways, and can harm their future; divorce brings a 50% drop financially on divorced families (Patrick F. Fagan and Robert Rector). Luckily my parents are still together and many of my friend’s parents are together, but that is not the case for many unfortunate families.
We as Americans have fallen into one of the biggest afflictions known. Divorce is an external disease that is spreading through our country. While many see divorce as an option to get out of a wrecked marriage or gain possession of valuble items, divorce actually causes more stress in people’s life. 50% more marriages have fallen into divorce since the 1970’s due to selfishness (Dana Krupinsky). Whether black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Christian, Muslim, or Jewish, we as Americans must stop divorce. Couples need to find other ways to deal with their problems in order to keep our country strong. We must show the younger generations what a relationship should be. Divorce should be stopped before it spreads deeper into society.
Work Cited
Divorce Rate. Retrieved November 29, 2009, from DivorceRate website: http://www.divorcerate.org/.
Dreyfus, Edward. Making Your Marriage Work. Retrieved November 29, 2009, from http://www.docdreyfus.com/making_your_marriage_work.html.
Fagan, Patrick and Robert Rector. (2000, June 5). The Effects of Divorce on America. Retrieved November 29, 2009, from Heritage website: http://www.heritage.org/research/family/bg1373.cfm.
Krupinsky, D. (2006, February 21). Divorce in America – Why?. Retrieved November 29,2009, from Ezine Articles website: http://ezinearticles.com/?Divorce-in-America---Why?&id=149831.
Nate Hicks' Blog 